So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
