Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
