I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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