real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
