Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
