Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
