at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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