i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"