I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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