i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
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I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?