how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
