I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
