lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
