Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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