are you still at the devil's house?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
