It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
