Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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