I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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