Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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