it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was confusing and full of hummus
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
