Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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