I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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