My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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