I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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