Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
