I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
