Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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