just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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