Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
