so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
