No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
