First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
