bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
