when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
