I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
