It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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