You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
