Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
