Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Pooping to opera.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
