The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
