Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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