Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
