He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
