Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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