covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
