I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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