Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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