That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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