i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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