We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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