I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
