Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize