I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
