dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
