Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
