If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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