we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I would fuck him just for his dog
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
