Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
