once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
