Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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