I'm really into asian looking animals
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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