just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
