1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
