$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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