there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
